Blogisode 10: Cross-examining Conversations
'A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.'
-Mark Twain
Communication, probably one of the most hidden necessities to human survival. It stands right there among the golden trio of, air, water and food. And as any other resource, it comes across in various forms; verbal, written, social, etc. But after twenty one and half years, some things dawn onto me. Like what should one respond after a certain query, how do you approach to start the conversation, or how did we all fall flat from 'Hello's and 'Hi's to a simple 'Sup?'. Basically, what makes communication, a.k.a, a 'conversation' effective?
-A talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.
Pretty basic definition, right?
But call me crazy, has it ever occurred at any point in time, that the conversation just vaguely ends, but also doesn't. For example, there must have been atleast one conversation you've had in the past, where after the common small talk, you just look at each other awkwardly, and smile at weird intervals. Weird right.
Even in conversations across social media, after doing the regular talk of 'Hey!', 'Yo!', 'How are you?' or 'What's up?', it ends up very vague, to a point where, if you genuinely want to keep the conversation going, you ask questions. For what reason though? Well, you can't be quiet and alone all the time, right?
'Hey! What's up?'
'Nothing much.'
'So how did *insert random event* go?'
'It was okay' (or) '*Lengthy description of random event experience*'
'That's cool, *asks another question*'
'*Answers*'
'Hahaha, *asks another question*'
'*Answers*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'*Asks nth question*'
'*Answers*'
Feels more like an interview, than a conversation. Don't know about most people, but in my opinion, it's annoying. Imagine, how egotistical one would have to be, to just give a crap about the person on the other end of the line.
One would probably try to counter the reply, with a set of questions, but that leads back to doubt 2.
And whenever you try referring to a common incident that occurred between the two people, and what's worse is that they don't know about it. Like it never happened.
It may not look like so, but every conversation has a hidden agenda. Usually a doubt, a favor, or a clarification (at least the ones I'm commonly called on for). But why is it so? Can't there be a reason that why 'X' chats with 'Y' is because he/she feels like chatting with him/her. It's weird that almost every small thing has a materialistic necessity, put in to it. And then we have 'wannabe icons' who pretend like it's all just a thought, it's not true, etc. But is it though?
Now, most of you may think at this point that this all just naïve nitpicking from my end, and it may be so. However, it's just disappointing that even after being twenty one years, there isn't even a proper conversation that's worth cherishing. I mean almost all conversations that I can recall seem forced, wherever it's been. It usually be someone (usually being me, in most of the cases) trying to force all the conversation to go through. And as I pass, I somehow find the same set of people who I forced my way into a light conversation, cheerfully gossiping without any effect of the time passing by. I mean, it just sucks. You think you might've done something wrong, especially with today's world where every small action, might offend someone. Or even so, you might've given the so called 'creepy' vibe/aura that comes into action, within a few meters or seconds before the actual interaction. But alas, what's the point? You trying to break out of your comfort zone, to enter reality, and finally make a friend. Only to fail miserably, when it all comes crashing down due to a quick 10 second judgement with the first few utterances from your mouth. And it happens so, in all manners despite the place and time; school, college, work and beyond. And with that, a final doubt, just to sum it all up, from a world class perfectionist in the art of screwing a normal conversation:
Because at the end of the day, along with all my constant moments of overcomplicating and overthinking simple thoughts that shouldn't be made so complex, it's the small things like this that factor in to as to why I hate myself.
So that probably took a dark turn towards the end. But after a long span of what seems to be about three months, the blogs are back (sort of). Had been busy with some stuff, so the blog was pending for a long time now.
The topic of today's blog is one of the few things I wanted to get out of my chest, but didn't know how to, well describe it well. But as much as I tried to do thus far, it probably accounted to just a fraction of the whole conversation puzzle. And as said before, I do sometimes get curious about how people get those actual fruitful conversations. The ones that get you hooked on to eavesdrop to (Probably not the right lingo to say, but I hope it makes sense). And despite all forms of initiation, it just seems to go in vain, when the result isn't as expected (Reality punch). But it just sucks even more, that you get to see others have that. Now, I'm not saying that after posting this, I'll get out of the house, yell 'HI!' to every neighbor and eventually work out to be good mates, but there's just a particular action to do just that. Had I known about this mysterious action earlier, it would have changed a set of events in my timeline. Heck, I would've probably gotten a few people who actually bothered listening to my weird ideas back in school rather than asking me answers to assignments.
But enough of past criticism, I'm back to doing what I do best; trying to get others to try reading my blogs, cause well, if you can't get someone to hear your jargon, might as well get someone to read it.
Feedback would be much obliged :)
Takk og Bless
Dull McDummy Face
-Mark Twain
Communication, probably one of the most hidden necessities to human survival. It stands right there among the golden trio of, air, water and food. And as any other resource, it comes across in various forms; verbal, written, social, etc. But after twenty one and half years, some things dawn onto me. Like what should one respond after a certain query, how do you approach to start the conversation, or how did we all fall flat from 'Hello's and 'Hi's to a simple 'Sup?'. Basically, what makes communication, a.k.a, a 'conversation' effective?
>What is a conversation?
Conversation (kɒnvəˈseɪʃ(ə)n)(noun)-A talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.
Pretty basic definition, right?
But call me crazy, has it ever occurred at any point in time, that the conversation just vaguely ends, but also doesn't. For example, there must have been atleast one conversation you've had in the past, where after the common small talk, you just look at each other awkwardly, and smile at weird intervals. Weird right.
Even in conversations across social media, after doing the regular talk of 'Hey!', 'Yo!', 'How are you?' or 'What's up?', it ends up very vague, to a point where, if you genuinely want to keep the conversation going, you ask questions. For what reason though? Well, you can't be quiet and alone all the time, right?
Doubt 1:
How do you start a conversation?
I mean sure, one always starts with the natural 'Hello, or sometimes the casual 'Hey' or even more smooth 'Sup?'. But what after that? An immature attempt to make the conversation lively. From questions to stating weird facts or unnecessary details (Just me?). Something that's always pondered the low-self esteem version of me for ages. And when you find the words that just might spark up the conversation, by all chances of anti deus ex machina (chance), you're left there with words behind a locked mouth, probably along with some awkward agitations.
Doubt 2:
Now in the topic of questions, even after asking 'n' number of questions to the other person, it just feels weird when they just leave a wague answer. For example:'Hey! What's up?'
'Nothing much.'
'So how did *insert random event* go?'
'It was okay' (or) '*Lengthy description of random event experience*'
'That's cool, *asks another question*'
'*Answers*'
'Hahaha, *asks another question*'
'*Answers*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'*Asks nth question*'
'*Answers*'
Feels more like an interview, than a conversation. Don't know about most people, but in my opinion, it's annoying. Imagine, how egotistical one would have to be, to just give a crap about the person on the other end of the line.
Doubt 3:
Call me crazy, but what do you respond after someone replies 'Nothing much', to the generic question of 'What's up?'. It's a weird conversation killer to me. Like in a day of 24 hours, even slouching seems more exciting than 'Nothing much'. It sends the vibe that the conversee (yeah, a made up word), isn't interested in a conversation with the conversor (another made up word). It sucks both in a verbal and an online conversation.One would probably try to counter the reply, with a set of questions, but that leads back to doubt 2.
Doubt 4:
A conversation typically acts as dialogue or a trialogue of sorts between the people involved. Now as far as I know, as per laws of basic decency, it should be obvious that a 'dialogue' becomes a 'dialogue' when both people are actively involved. For example, you go on and on about a topic that genuinely interests you, your eyes wide, and you're active for the first time in a while, and once you're done, all you get from the other end is 'Haha Cool' or something of that sort. All that energy for nothing, sigh. Haha, so cool.
Doubt 5:
Now typically, most active conversations usually involve an 'inside joke', sort of like movies or books, where one incident or piece of dialogue gets referred again and again. With whatever happens in the surroundings, by some strange odds, it somehow links with the 'inside joke'. I have to ask this, HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?!
Doubt 6:
Imagine you're in a theater, watching an epic movie, probably with an intriguing plot and details and towards the climax, the power goes down in the theater. Sucks right? All that plot building and story telling down to dust. Now, let's match this up with conversations.
Ever had those scenarios where the conversor tells a story and it ends just like that. Or if your curious mind begins to break down the scenario through questions. Sort of like loose plot-holes cliffhangers sometime seen in movies. So many questions all at one time. What? Who? What? Why? Like, here's a real example.
During a random Saturday morning after Holi, I was asked by a friends for a honor. So jobless at the moment, I thought, 'Why not? What's to lose?'. So as another friend was getting his bike ready, I was a bit off, that something weird was going to happen. So midway through riding, as we were taking a turn, and after a small distraction, BOOM it happened.
During a random Saturday morning after Holi, I was asked by a friends for a honor. So jobless at the moment, I thought, 'Why not? What's to lose?'. So as another friend was getting his bike ready, I was a bit off, that something weird was going to happen. So midway through riding, as we were taking a turn, and after a small distraction, BOOM it happened.
Curious? Well, sucks for you.
Doubt 7:
Someone once said that, a conversation's hidden agenda is to get something done in the long run. I mean, think about it. After discussing about movies for ten minutes, the question kicks in. 'Dude, a favor.....'.
It may not look like so, but every conversation has a hidden agenda. Usually a doubt, a favor, or a clarification (at least the ones I'm commonly called on for). But why is it so? Can't there be a reason that why 'X' chats with 'Y' is because he/she feels like chatting with him/her. It's weird that almost every small thing has a materialistic necessity, put in to it. And then we have 'wannabe icons' who pretend like it's all just a thought, it's not true, etc. But is it though?
Now, most of you may think at this point that this all just naïve nitpicking from my end, and it may be so. However, it's just disappointing that even after being twenty one years, there isn't even a proper conversation that's worth cherishing. I mean almost all conversations that I can recall seem forced, wherever it's been. It usually be someone (usually being me, in most of the cases) trying to force all the conversation to go through. And as I pass, I somehow find the same set of people who I forced my way into a light conversation, cheerfully gossiping without any effect of the time passing by. I mean, it just sucks. You think you might've done something wrong, especially with today's world where every small action, might offend someone. Or even so, you might've given the so called 'creepy' vibe/aura that comes into action, within a few meters or seconds before the actual interaction. But alas, what's the point? You trying to break out of your comfort zone, to enter reality, and finally make a friend. Only to fail miserably, when it all comes crashing down due to a quick 10 second judgement with the first few utterances from your mouth. And it happens so, in all manners despite the place and time; school, college, work and beyond. And with that, a final doubt, just to sum it all up, from a world class perfectionist in the art of screwing a normal conversation:
HOW? JUST HOW?
Because at the end of the day, along with all my constant moments of overcomplicating and overthinking simple thoughts that shouldn't be made so complex, it's the small things like this that factor in to as to why I hate myself.
So that probably took a dark turn towards the end. But after a long span of what seems to be about three months, the blogs are back (sort of). Had been busy with some stuff, so the blog was pending for a long time now.
The topic of today's blog is one of the few things I wanted to get out of my chest, but didn't know how to, well describe it well. But as much as I tried to do thus far, it probably accounted to just a fraction of the whole conversation puzzle. And as said before, I do sometimes get curious about how people get those actual fruitful conversations. The ones that get you hooked on to eavesdrop to (Probably not the right lingo to say, but I hope it makes sense). And despite all forms of initiation, it just seems to go in vain, when the result isn't as expected (Reality punch). But it just sucks even more, that you get to see others have that. Now, I'm not saying that after posting this, I'll get out of the house, yell 'HI!' to every neighbor and eventually work out to be good mates, but there's just a particular action to do just that. Had I known about this mysterious action earlier, it would have changed a set of events in my timeline. Heck, I would've probably gotten a few people who actually bothered listening to my weird ideas back in school rather than asking me answers to assignments.
But enough of past criticism, I'm back to doing what I do best; trying to get others to try reading my blogs, cause well, if you can't get someone to hear your jargon, might as well get someone to read it.
Feedback would be much obliged :)
Takk og Bless
Dull McDummy Face
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