Blogisode 14: The Bashed Car Experience
“A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.”
- Lance Armstrong
So it's the middle of the day, and I'm watching this new show on Netflix, the one with Karan Johar. Three episodes in of this so-so Indian Queer Eye, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm laughing and thinking to myself "What the actual fuck am I doing right now? What the hell is wrong with me?". When all the depraved and self loathing thoughts were clinging on, I remembered it's almost 14th February, a day I'm extra depraved and self loathing. While I could imagine pulling an imaginary bullet from an imaginary gun into my imaginary skull, I realized it was time to revive the old blog for a new V-day chapter.
The tale involves John and his wild sense of imagination. So the tale begins in a vivid dream of one of those things you've dreamt of having since you were a teenager. In John's case, it was a car (Just roll with it). It started with a flashback where John saw the car once, and it's captivated him and he, being the shy gullible individual that he is, isn't able to force himself to stand next to it cause it would be odd. And while he's still pondering why his odd self couldn't atleast stand in the queue to get a picture with this special car, John hears a bunch of people who can't stop bragging about their shot with this car. All said and done, as John keep thinking about what could've been with this car, time passes and exams come and go and busy to start with college, John can't help but think about that 'What If?' moment.
A few years go by and when the memory of this car lies in the bleakest corner of his memory, something happens. John somehow get word that this car is coming to my campus, and not only that, it talks!!! (I'm not high writing this part btw).
And while John starts to debate internally with himself, whether it would be a great idea to interact with the car, fuck it, he just go for it and sleep knowing that it would be a one in a million if a talking car talked back to him.
The next morning, John wakes up to a surprise that the car replies back. Wow, who would've thought that John would be talking to talking car, strange huh? A few months in, John and this car are chatting a lot, and it's one of those things which made his bad days good again, and he hoped it felt the same for this car. There were moments unbeknownst to this car, where John would do surprising things like provide secret oil changes, special installations, and even got it to win a few races here and there 'on it's own' to the car's surprise.
As things seem to be good, John comes across something that surprise him. He sees that this car got a new driver. While John is kind of surprised and disappointed that he couldn't drive it, as long as John still gets to talk to this magic car, his day would get made. And while there were times, the car would say how it didn't enjoy the driver that much, John was such a person that he would still encourage it to give the driver a shot, as every driver takes time to adjust in a new car (John clearly sound like a dumbfuck right now).
Now a few years in, John's deep into college, the point where you're angry at things going right for others and horrible for you and you just want a van to drive you over. John being one such individual, wasn't very optimistic whenever he talked to anyone, even to this car. Honestly, it was a point, where he hoped that even beyond his nihilistic thinking he wanted a person just to regularly talk with him than just 5 minute bleak generic conversations. And John believed this feeling of actual interactivity would be there with a number of people, or atleast hoped it did. So in hopes to stay a little positive, naturally John would want to do something that makes him happy, one of which for him at this point, was talking to this car. But then, what seemed to be fruitful and a jolly time suddenly seemed like him pushing a cart all by himself and wooing himself for the effort. Creating a conversation by himself, and dragging himself in it a lot for everyone to get involved. And while he knew almost everyone he talked with do that everytime, it was odd that the car did this.
When John asked the car if something was wrong, why things didn't seem the way it did, it said it was busy handling various races, and especially being one of the main showcase models in some of the biggest car conventions and expos. At first, John went for it, imagined that naturally over a point in time especially in college, a car would get really busy. But then, at times John would get curious, so much so he would attend these expo conventions in order to see the car, but then something hit him. John realized that the car's not there. And unnervingly, it turned into a place that he didn't want to be but didn't want to leave forcefullly as it would be too rude. And this didn't just once, nor twice but a whole four times. You would think that if a car of such an esteemed portfolio wasn't even there for the conventions where it was supposed to headline, it would be complete BS.
At one point, while John could've talk about it and call it out to the car itself, John chose to ignore it. And while John tried to make it work, it slowly diffused into nothing. Now at this point, while John knew it's over, the memories of the conversations last and are heavy, and there are plenty of questions unanswered, out of sheer curiousity, John asks the question. What went wrong?
The car responded, but not an actual definitive answer to the question, but rather some generic cliched answer. ' You just didn't seem interested John'. John, someone who pulled over some surprises and still kept it a secret, kept quiet about any giant revelations from my end, and tried to drive a conversation so that everyone was involved, was the one who wasn't interested. John was mildly outraged, that wasn't a fair response, fuck, he wouldn't even count that as a response. And while he enquired more about this, John was driven (haha) off by this car. So basically, in a span of a few years, from aspiring to drive this car to eventually blowing the opportunity, John went from hoping to be acquainted with the car to be rammed by it so hard and thrown into a ditch (Just like the first picture) after being bashed into a thick wall repeatedly. And the pièce de résistance, the car drives off with the driver, key in his hand, as they both drive towards the sunset happily ever after.
So at this point, if you're still here, you may/may not have understood various points and heck if you wanted to shake my head hard and ask "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!?!?!", I wouldn't blame you, I would do that too and maybe beat the author with a bat for an actual valid answer.
Sigh.
Now while I can't divulge much about this animated tale which may/may not be real, all I can say it is a tale that arrives from isolation and a colorful mind, atleast I'd like to think that. And while some can hope for closure for characters in tales like these, this one just stands just like that. And who knows, it may be too naive for John to still think about it, and move on, as 'better things are on the way', but sometimes memories especially those bring warmth and joy are hard to move out from. Be it a picture from the past, an extract from that one book you read in your childhood, or that one epic scene from that one movie you want to rewatch or relive again like it was for the first time. And when the memory of such ends, you find yourself empty and lost knowing that one loses a huge part of himself at the end, and despite cliched and dumbfounded advice like 'bE poSItiVe' sounds extremely vague and one will never know if it's possible to rebuild him/herself. Add other solicit factors like lonliness into this case, and it feels like you're shackled with memories and instances like these in repetition, such that you aren't able to fully focus on what's happening at the present, fearing that it'll happen all over again, and lost of trust, knowing that you're stabbed by snakes that weirdly hiss 'bbbbrrrrrroooooooo'. But then again, I'm a fucking idiot, what the hell do I know about stuff?
Now if I were John, I would want to go in several ways. As someone who gets annoyed and at this point sometimes just outright pissed with all things going on compiled, I would honestly travel to the micro land of this fabel creation and bash this car back for well just for the outright annoyance. But that's way too much, especially in the PC culture world we live in. But on a more serene note, I also would like to know the actual crux of the issue. A somewhat figurative debate between John and the car (how funny would that be). And actually dive down into a final closure on this, so that both parties though diverged can walk away satisfied. When and if that happens, we'll never know.
- Lance Armstrong
So it's the middle of the day, and I'm watching this new show on Netflix, the one with Karan Johar. Three episodes in of this so-so Indian Queer Eye, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm laughing and thinking to myself "What the actual fuck am I doing right now? What the hell is wrong with me?". When all the depraved and self loathing thoughts were clinging on, I remembered it's almost 14th February, a day I'm extra depraved and self loathing. While I could imagine pulling an imaginary bullet from an imaginary gun into my imaginary skull, I realized it was time to revive the old blog for a new V-day chapter.
The tale involves John and his wild sense of imagination. So the tale begins in a vivid dream of one of those things you've dreamt of having since you were a teenager. In John's case, it was a car (Just roll with it). It started with a flashback where John saw the car once, and it's captivated him and he, being the shy gullible individual that he is, isn't able to force himself to stand next to it cause it would be odd. And while he's still pondering why his odd self couldn't atleast stand in the queue to get a picture with this special car, John hears a bunch of people who can't stop bragging about their shot with this car. All said and done, as John keep thinking about what could've been with this car, time passes and exams come and go and busy to start with college, John can't help but think about that 'What If?' moment.
A few years go by and when the memory of this car lies in the bleakest corner of his memory, something happens. John somehow get word that this car is coming to my campus, and not only that, it talks!!! (I'm not high writing this part btw).
And while John starts to debate internally with himself, whether it would be a great idea to interact with the car, fuck it, he just go for it and sleep knowing that it would be a one in a million if a talking car talked back to him.
The next morning, John wakes up to a surprise that the car replies back. Wow, who would've thought that John would be talking to talking car, strange huh? A few months in, John and this car are chatting a lot, and it's one of those things which made his bad days good again, and he hoped it felt the same for this car. There were moments unbeknownst to this car, where John would do surprising things like provide secret oil changes, special installations, and even got it to win a few races here and there 'on it's own' to the car's surprise.
As things seem to be good, John comes across something that surprise him. He sees that this car got a new driver. While John is kind of surprised and disappointed that he couldn't drive it, as long as John still gets to talk to this magic car, his day would get made. And while there were times, the car would say how it didn't enjoy the driver that much, John was such a person that he would still encourage it to give the driver a shot, as every driver takes time to adjust in a new car (John clearly sound like a dumbfuck right now).
Now a few years in, John's deep into college, the point where you're angry at things going right for others and horrible for you and you just want a van to drive you over. John being one such individual, wasn't very optimistic whenever he talked to anyone, even to this car. Honestly, it was a point, where he hoped that even beyond his nihilistic thinking he wanted a person just to regularly talk with him than just 5 minute bleak generic conversations. And John believed this feeling of actual interactivity would be there with a number of people, or atleast hoped it did. So in hopes to stay a little positive, naturally John would want to do something that makes him happy, one of which for him at this point, was talking to this car. But then, what seemed to be fruitful and a jolly time suddenly seemed like him pushing a cart all by himself and wooing himself for the effort. Creating a conversation by himself, and dragging himself in it a lot for everyone to get involved. And while he knew almost everyone he talked with do that everytime, it was odd that the car did this.
When John asked the car if something was wrong, why things didn't seem the way it did, it said it was busy handling various races, and especially being one of the main showcase models in some of the biggest car conventions and expos. At first, John went for it, imagined that naturally over a point in time especially in college, a car would get really busy. But then, at times John would get curious, so much so he would attend these expo conventions in order to see the car, but then something hit him. John realized that the car's not there. And unnervingly, it turned into a place that he didn't want to be but didn't want to leave forcefullly as it would be too rude. And this didn't just once, nor twice but a whole four times. You would think that if a car of such an esteemed portfolio wasn't even there for the conventions where it was supposed to headline, it would be complete BS.
At one point, while John could've talk about it and call it out to the car itself, John chose to ignore it. And while John tried to make it work, it slowly diffused into nothing. Now at this point, while John knew it's over, the memories of the conversations last and are heavy, and there are plenty of questions unanswered, out of sheer curiousity, John asks the question. What went wrong?
The car responded, but not an actual definitive answer to the question, but rather some generic cliched answer. ' You just didn't seem interested John'. John, someone who pulled over some surprises and still kept it a secret, kept quiet about any giant revelations from my end, and tried to drive a conversation so that everyone was involved, was the one who wasn't interested. John was mildly outraged, that wasn't a fair response, fuck, he wouldn't even count that as a response. And while he enquired more about this, John was driven (haha) off by this car. So basically, in a span of a few years, from aspiring to drive this car to eventually blowing the opportunity, John went from hoping to be acquainted with the car to be rammed by it so hard and thrown into a ditch (Just like the first picture) after being bashed into a thick wall repeatedly. And the pièce de résistance, the car drives off with the driver, key in his hand, as they both drive towards the sunset happily ever after.
So at this point, if you're still here, you may/may not have understood various points and heck if you wanted to shake my head hard and ask "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!?!?!", I wouldn't blame you, I would do that too and maybe beat the author with a bat for an actual valid answer.
Sigh.
Now while I can't divulge much about this animated tale which may/may not be real, all I can say it is a tale that arrives from isolation and a colorful mind, atleast I'd like to think that. And while some can hope for closure for characters in tales like these, this one just stands just like that. And who knows, it may be too naive for John to still think about it, and move on, as 'better things are on the way', but sometimes memories especially those bring warmth and joy are hard to move out from. Be it a picture from the past, an extract from that one book you read in your childhood, or that one epic scene from that one movie you want to rewatch or relive again like it was for the first time. And when the memory of such ends, you find yourself empty and lost knowing that one loses a huge part of himself at the end, and despite cliched and dumbfounded advice like 'bE poSItiVe' sounds extremely vague and one will never know if it's possible to rebuild him/herself. Add other solicit factors like lonliness into this case, and it feels like you're shackled with memories and instances like these in repetition, such that you aren't able to fully focus on what's happening at the present, fearing that it'll happen all over again, and lost of trust, knowing that you're stabbed by snakes that weirdly hiss 'bbbbrrrrrroooooooo'. But then again, I'm a fucking idiot, what the hell do I know about stuff?
Now if I were John, I would want to go in several ways. As someone who gets annoyed and at this point sometimes just outright pissed with all things going on compiled, I would honestly travel to the micro land of this fabel creation and bash this car back for well just for the outright annoyance. But that's way too much, especially in the PC culture world we live in. But on a more serene note, I also would like to know the actual crux of the issue. A somewhat figurative debate between John and the car (how funny would that be). And actually dive down into a final closure on this, so that both parties though diverged can walk away satisfied. When and if that happens, we'll never know.
**EDITORS NOTE**
It's been months since I've published a blogisode, and while I might've lost touch (If I had some in the first place), I'm back at frequent blogisodes :)
Truth to be told, this is one of the blogs I tried to finish and upload on the day, because despite feeling low and 'uncreative', I wanted to revive this space once again. Pausing all the various shows on Netflix, including that Circle one (Great show btw), and hitting the .doc file. So I take all the blame for any inconsistencies, grammar issues, bad endings and all round shit-housery. But hey third times' the charm for a new V-day upload.
And just as always, to the few of you guys who say this and managed to spare their precious time of scrolling through their phones/laptops, and read this. Thanks a lot.
Feedback plenty appreciated
Gracias and have a great Valentine's day
-Dull McDummy Face
Comments
Post a Comment